We negotiate every day — with clients, suppliers, colleagues, bosses and even family. Yet most professionals have never been taught how. They either avoid negotiation, give in too quickly, or treat it as a battle that leaves relationships damaged. This article presents a practical five-stage framework, drawing on the Harvard Negotiation Project’s principled negotiation approach, that helps you reach agreements that are good for you and sustainable for the other side.
Two approaches: positional vs principled negotiation
In positional bargaining, each side takes a position (“I will pay 100,000 Taka, not a paisa more”) and then makes concessions until they meet — or walk away. It is common but inefficient, and it often damages relationships.
In principled negotiation, described by Roger Fisher and William Ury in Getting to Yes, the parties focus on underlying interests and objective criteria. Its four principles are:
- Separate the people from the problem.
- Focus on interests, not positions.
- Invent options for mutual gain.
- Insist on using objective criteria.
Stage 1: Prepare — where most negotiations are won
Experienced negotiators spend more time preparing than negotiating. Use a one-page plan covering:
- Your interests: why do you want what you want? (Price, yes — but maybe also delivery time, quality, payment terms or reputation.)
- Their likely interests: what pressures, goals and fears does the other side have?
- Your BATNA: your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement — what you will do if no deal is reached. A strong BATNA is your biggest source of power.
- Their BATNA: what will they do without you?
- Your walk-away point (reservation price) and your target.
- Objective criteria: market rates, benchmarks, industry standards, precedent.
- Possible trades: things that are cheap for you but valuable to them, and vice versa.
Understanding the ZOPA
The Zone of Possible Agreement (ZOPA) is the overlap between the walk-away points of the two parties. If a buyer will pay up to 120,000 and a seller will accept no less than 100,000, the ZOPA is 100,000–120,000. If there is no overlap, there is no deal on price alone — unless you add other issues to create value.
Stage 2: Open — build rapport and set the anchor
The first minutes set the tone. Start with genuine rapport: a few minutes of personal conversation, appreciation for their time, and a shared statement of purpose (“We both want a supply agreement that works for the next three years”).
Then consider anchoring. Research in behavioural economics shows that first offers strongly influence final outcomes. If you have good information about the ZOPA, making an ambitious but justifiable first offer usually works in your favour. Always explain the reasoning behind your number with objective criteria — an anchor without justification looks arbitrary.
Stage 3: Explore — ask, listen and discover interests
This is the stage most negotiators rush. Use open questions to understand what really matters to the other side:
- “What is most important to you in this agreement?”
- “What would make this a success for your team?”
- “What concerns do you have about our proposal?”
- “Help me understand why that deadline matters.”
Listen actively and summarise: “So if I understand correctly, cash flow in the first quarter is your main concern.” This builds trust and often reveals opportunities for creative solutions.
Stage 4: Bargain — create value, then claim value
Create value first
Negotiate several issues together rather than one at a time. When you combine price, volume, payment terms, delivery and warranty, you can make trades that benefit both sides — for example, a slightly higher price in exchange for faster payment that solves the supplier’s cash-flow problem.
Trade concessions, never give them
Use conditional language: “If you can commit to a two-year contract, then we can reduce the unit price by 3%.” Every concession should be traded for something of value, and concessions should become smaller as you approach your limit — signalling that you are near your walk-away point.
Handle tough tactics
| Tactic | What it looks like | How to respond |
|---|---|---|
| Good cop / bad cop | One person is aggressive, the other “friendly” | Name it calmly and focus on interests with both |
| Nibbling | Small extra demands after agreement | “Happy to look at that — what can you offer in return?” |
| Artificial deadline | “This offer expires today.” | Test it; refer to your BATNA; do not decide under pressure |
| Limited authority | “I need to check with my boss.” | Ask early who decides; reserve the same right |
| Silence | Long pause after your offer | Stay silent too; do not negotiate against yourself |
Stage 5: Close and implement
Summarise everything agreed, clarify who will do what by when, and put it in writing as soon as possible. Many agreements fail not at the table but in implementation, when each side remembers the deal differently. Thank the other party and protect the relationship — you will probably negotiate with them again.
Emotions in negotiation
Negotiations can trigger strong emotions: fear of losing, frustration, pride. Emotionally intelligent negotiators:
- Recognise their own emotional triggers and pause before reacting.
- Acknowledge the other side’s feelings (“I can see this deadline puts a lot of pressure on your team”).
- Take breaks when discussions become heated.
- Attack the problem, never the person.
Cultural considerations in Bangladesh and South Asia
Relationships and trust often matter as much as the numbers. Allow time for tea and conversation, show respect for seniority, avoid causing the other side to lose face in public, and recognise that a polite “we will see” may mean “no”. When negotiating internationally, research your counterpart’s norms on directness, time and decision-making.
Your negotiation preparation checklist
- What are my interests, target and walk-away point?
- What is my BATNA, and how can I strengthen it?
- What are their likely interests and BATNA?
- Which objective criteria support my position?
- Which issues can I trade?
- What questions will I ask to discover their interests?
- What is my opening offer and its justification?
- How will I record and implement the agreement?
Negotiation styles: know your default
The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument describes five approaches people use when interests differ, based on how assertive and how cooperative they are:
| Style | Description | When it helps | Risk if overused |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competing | Assertive, uncooperative | Emergencies, protecting vital interests | Damaged relationships |
| Collaborating | Assertive and cooperative | Complex deals with long-term partners | Time-consuming for small issues |
| Compromising | Middle ground | Time pressure, equal power | Value left on the table |
| Avoiding | Unassertive, uncooperative | Trivial issues, need to cool down | Problems grow unresolved |
| Accommodating | Cooperative, unassertive | Building goodwill, when you are wrong | Being taken advantage of |
Most people have one or two default styles. Skilled negotiators consciously choose the style that fits the situation and relationship.
A worked example: negotiating a training contract
Imagine an HR manager negotiating an in-house leadership program with a training provider. Her initial position is a 25% discount. By exploring interests, both sides discover more:
- The HR manager’s real interests: staying within the annual budget, training 60 managers before the year end, and demonstrating impact to the CEO.
- The provider’s interests: steady revenue, scheduling in a quieter month, and a reference client in a new industry.
Instead of haggling over the discount, they agree on three cohorts scheduled in the provider’s quieter months (lower cost for the provider), a 12% discount, a post-training impact report for the CEO, and permission to use the company as a reference. Both sides gain more than a simple split-the-difference compromise would have delivered.
Internal negotiation: with your boss and colleagues
Some of the most important negotiations happen inside the organization — for budget, resources, deadlines, promotions or salary. The same principles apply:
- Prepare evidence: achievements, market data, the business case.
- Understand their constraints: budget cycles, priorities, pressures from above.
- Offer options: “If the full budget is not possible, could we pilot with one team first?”
- Choose the right moment: not in a crisis or in front of others.
- Protect the relationship: you will work together long after the negotiation ends.
Ethics in negotiation
Effective negotiation is not deception. Bluffing about your BATNA or inventing competing offers may win a single deal, but it destroys trust and reputation — your most valuable long-term assets. You are not obliged to reveal everything, such as your walk-away price, but what you do say should be true. Integrity is one of SLSD’s core values, and in our experience it is also good business.
Frequently asked questions
Should I make the first offer?
If you have good information about the market and the other side’s likely range, making the first offer lets you set the anchor. If you know very little, it may be wiser to ask questions first and let them open.
What if the other side refuses to negotiate on interests?
Keep asking “why” questions respectfully, propose objective criteria and, if necessary, rely on your BATNA. Fisher and Ury call this “negotiation jujitsu”: do not push back against their position — redirect attention to interests and options.
How can I improve quickly?
Prepare a written plan for your next three negotiations, however small, and review each one afterwards: what worked, what did not, and what will you do differently?
Conclusion
Great negotiators are not the toughest people in the room; they are the best prepared, the best listeners and the most creative problem solvers. Prepare thoroughly, explore interests, trade rather than concede and close clearly. You will reach better agreements — and build relationships that make the next negotiation easier.
